All dressed up and nowhere to go.
**Apologies to Boy and PPQ for the lack of reasons to be happy on this post.
I should be feeling worse than I do.
'How was your weekend?'
'Really good' is my answer. Because it was.
Only I should be feeling worse than I do.
I should send a note.
I should be remembering all the good things, what an amazing person he was.
But all I can think is that he didn't laugh a lot.
He was a strong argumentative fucker (am I allowed to swear on PPQ's blog?).
I think I liked him for that.
And I definitely got that from him.
All it really makes me think about is my relationship with my own father, how his relationship with my father affected my relationship with my father.
Yet how it upset him that my relationship with my father is not better.
At least he got to see us win at the cricket for once.
And I am at work and I realise that I do feel sad and that I do not need to feel worse, that he was my Grandad and I loved him. |
I should be feeling worse than I do.
'How was your weekend?'
'Really good' is my answer. Because it was.
Only I should be feeling worse than I do.
I should send a note.
I should be remembering all the good things, what an amazing person he was.
But all I can think is that he didn't laugh a lot.
He was a strong argumentative fucker (am I allowed to swear on PPQ's blog?).
I think I liked him for that.
And I definitely got that from him.
All it really makes me think about is my relationship with my own father, how his relationship with my father affected my relationship with my father.
Yet how it upset him that my relationship with my father is not better.
At least he got to see us win at the cricket for once.
And I am at work and I realise that I do feel sad and that I do not need to feel worse, that he was my Grandad and I loved him. |
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Links
- Melt your heart - Jenny Lewis
- Above the clouds - Turin Brakes
- Out of our hands - Gemma Hayes
- Get up and go - Broadcast 2000
- 1234 - Feist
- Burning - The Whitest Boy Alive
- tbtf - Broken Social Scene
- Henney Buggy Band - Sufjan Stevens
- Mountain - Ann Scott
- There is a light that never goes out - The Smiths
- Eleanor Rigby - Douglas Coupland
- The Death and Life of Charlie St.Cloud - Ben Sherman
- Like Water for Chocolate - Laura Esquivel
- If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things - Jon McGregor
- The Distance Between Us - Maggie O'Farrell
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