Fed up of looking like cuddly old PPQ, I decided last weekend that I needed a change. Red dye in hand I approached my accomplice Bubs with a wry smile, “Let’s dye my hair!” Thankfully the darling girl agreed and we proceeded to get all salon selectives in the kitchen.

What I was really after was a streak of hot red in my raven black hair. A zing, a naughty streak, something different to my normal and boring barnet. I was kinda hoping for a Saffron from Republica look, all pillar box red, but I couldn’t find anything that bright so I went for the next best thing and chose 'fiery red' instead.

So Bubs got on her plastic gloves and we mixed the powdered dye and crème bleach like kids conducting a school chemistry experiment. She carefully and painstakingly applied the dye to my hair, duly covered said bits in foil and then I pranced about the house singing along to my stereo at top volume as I waited for the chemicals to start doing their stuff.

An hour and ten minutes later I was ready to wash the gunk out and see the results. In a momentary blonde lapse, I decided to wash my hair whilst in the shower. Big mistake. BIG mistake. For anyone who has ever used permanent hair dye will know that the bugger dyes your skin on contact.

So imagine the lightning speed at which I jumped out of that shower when I realised that there was a trail of bright red dye water streaking its way down the centre of my chest and all the way down my legs. I hot-footed it outta there so darn quick I tell ya, I practically winded myself as I desperately started washing the dye out of my hair in the sink, jumped back in the shower and started scrubbing my body in a vain attempt to remove the scarlet streak on my body.

After I’d safely removed four layers of skin I realised that it was futile and would just have to hope that no one would notice my stained form.

It’s been a week now and thankfully the streak has faded with every shower, and as for my hair, well I kinda like the fiery red streak, it’s subtle but catches the eye if I move my head in a certain way.

But I think I may have learnt my lesson...perhaps next time I may leave it to the professionals.

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