Most people know how I feel about Valentine’s Day and without sounding like a bitter, cynical singleton, I just don’t get why people need a dedicated day for telling their loved ones how much they love them. I like to think that in an ideal world you’d tell your loved ones whenever the feeling hit you and as often as you could.

But I’m not going to harp on about that this year, no sir, this year I’d rather laugh at the whole thing and share yet another story about the ex-bastard, a story which took place on Valentine’s Day three years ago. I was still at the office at 7pm, when he called me;

Ex-B “Did you get any surprises today?”

PPQ “Errm, well, the post hadn’t arrived when I left for work this morning, how about you?”

Ex-B “Yes thanks I got your lovely card….so you didn’t get anything, y’know, at work then?”

PPQ “No”

Ex-B “Not even a bunch of flowers?”

PPQ (Getting excited now) “You sent me flowers? Oh my God, how utterly lovely…but no, I didn’t get any”

Ex-B “Not even a massive, expensive bunch of flowers with orchids in?”

PPQ *Gasps* “Orchids? Orchids? My favourites…errm, no honey sorry, I didn’t, but thank you so much for the thought”

Ex-B “Bugger, I’ll have to call them up tomorrow and see what happened.”

He did call the florists up the next day only to find that, having been inundated with orders they had hired an external courier to meet the extra demands, but unfortunately even that hadn’t been enough to deliver all of their orders on time. The florists asked the EB if he would like them to re-deliver that day, the 15th instead.

The EB decided that as it wasn’t Valentine’s day anymore, he’d just take a refund.

*Sigh* I tell you what…I felt like the luckiest girl alive!

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