Do I want to save the world? Hell yes. I don’t know if it’s my love of capes and spandex or my love of human kind, but yeah, truly, I want to save the world.

From what? Cripes, the list is too long. Every time I turn on the news and see the latest nastiness I am swearing and cursing and getting angrier by the minute. Then it turns into this feeling of despair and uselessness. Questions like “what the hell can I do?” and “how can I help all these people who have been wronged?” spring into mind.

And it’s not just global evilness that irks me. There’s that old lady who had to stand up on the bus while everybody seated looked the other way. The kid who has to run home everyday so he won’t cross the path of bullies. Suspicious sales assistants who eye you up and down. Keane. You know, the usual everyday shit.

So, could I be a real-life superhero? Putting all the wrongs to right?
Well, lets look at the criteria needed;
1. Super-speediness with the ability to fly. Fact-when 100 people were asked what would be their one super power, over 90% said ‘flying’.
2. A good sense of good and bad. Parents have their uses.
3. A utility belt containing winch-hook, ninja throwing-stars, smoke bombs, poison darts and a packet of crisps.
4. Good hair.
5. Super sexy, yet Clarks style comfortable boots.
6. X-ray vision.
7. At least one major fighting skill – I’m swaying towards some street-fighting number.
8. A spandex…no, too tight. A Nylon……no, too hot. A cotton….c’mon Bubs! Not durable enough. A rubber…..woah. Right, a leather, all in one suit with just the right amount of give when leaping over tall buildings (I know, I can fly, but a girl’s gotta get her 30 minutes of government recommended exercise a day right?)
9. And a super sleek super car to do the obligatory 180 degree backward turns in.

Ahh, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying “This is all very well Bubs, but with all this fighting evil malarkey, what will you be calling yourself??”
Well my new found friends, I haven’t come up with a name yet. Some have sprung to mind such as ‘Sandwich Girl’ (too stupid), ‘Oh Beautiful One’ (snigger), ‘The Mighty Bubs’ (not mysterious enough). So what shall it be?? Would you mind, one day in the not too distant future, me turning up on your doorstep, pledging that I will save your day?? OR perhaps one day we can join forces and help bring down the evilness that is.

Now, I would like to finish off with a poem about fish.
Oh…. someone’s beat me to it.

NB. PPQ had no control over the contents of this blog entry. She didn't believe me when I said I would write something ludicrous. All complaints can be made to me via comments box. Apologies in advance for next Wednesday's entry.

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