I think the age-old adage that good friends are hard to find is pretty bloody true.

Practically every chick magazine or lifestyle section in the weekend papers will contain articles harping on about how these days more and more of us have built new age families consisting of a network of our friends. It seems that whereas in our parents’ day you lived with, or pretty darn close to your nuclear and extended family, these days we tend to leave the towns we grew up in and make lives for ourselves elsewhere. This has always been a big thing for me. I really do see my mates as part of my family. My folks live 6000 miles away and while I have two big brothers who both live in London, I still find the need to have people who know me really well, close to hand.

Different people have different ideas of what makes a good friend. I’m of the ilk that a good friend is always honest with you. Some people require friends to be supportive even when they feel you may be doing the wrong thing, others just want someone to have a pint and a chat with at the pub. But we all need friends.

A couple of weeks ago I was going through a tough time. It was 1in the morning here but 2am where my Buddy was. I texted him an SOS – was it okay for me to call him? Somehow I just knew that only his voice and his words would do. He didn’t ignore it, instead he texted back that it was fine. So I called him.

He did what the best friends do. First he listened to the whole sad story, making small understanding noises, then he told me what he thought, gave me some words of reassurance, and finally he made me laugh by taking the piss out of me, my story, himself, men women, and everything.

And by the time we finished chatting it was 3am in his world. He didn’t complain or grumble, just double-checked that I had got everything off my chest, and told me that I would be okay.
I felt so much better.

I don’t know the exact recipe for a good friend, but for me they are tirelessly honest, worth their weight in gold and platinum and have a Kevlar coating to deflect any blows that you shower on them in times of extreme stress. They are experts in discretion and know when to nod sympathetically or when to offer advice. Skilled bridge builders, with the patience of angels, they always have a place for you to stay over. And in dire times, they realise heavy artillery (tea and hugs) is required because words alone will not do.

Something I saw the other day summed it up for me;
friendship
is when people know
all about you
but like you anyway

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