She kept asking me such difficult questions. I tried to answer them, really I did, but as hard as I tried, I’m not so sure that I convinced her. Sure I was on hand with limitless hugs and I softened my voice and stroked her hair, but sometimes that just isn’t enough. And in the end I just plum wore myself out trying to find the answers she sought, because lately I had been abusing myself with the very same questions and not even convincing myself.

She: When will it all stop? When will I feel better? Why is my life so shit? Why can’t I have someone else’s life? Why can’t I be happy?

Me: Soon. Soon. It’s temporary. Because you work best as you and your life will be good soon. You can be happy, you just need to get through this first. But you have to let yourself grieve before you can get closure.

Sometimes, there’s nothing more heartbreaking than watching someone else’s heart break. Knowing that your plasters won’t hold their heart together for very long, that you don’t have any magic words that will soothe their furrowed brow and fill the ineffable emptiness deep inside them. That even though their tears may subside temporarily while you’re with them, comforting them, that as soon as you leave their tears will come flooding back.

I have learned some hard lessons. That you can not make someone love you, you can only be someone who can be loved. That time heals. That you often hurt the ones you love. And that it is a universally accepted fact that the guy will always start dating first and that the person who was broken up with will suffer for way longer than is fair.

But the more I learn, the more I need to believe that good things come to those who wait. And that everyone deserves to be loved.

'Cos my mama taught me so.

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